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Biddykins 06-03-2010 04:21 AM

I suck at keeping friends
 
Anyone else find themselves in this situation? As you grow up, keeping hold of your friends just becomes ridiculously difficult. When I was younger I had a small group of maybe 5-8 friends who I was really close with, as I got to college it became a different group, then uni, another group, but outside of this small group of friends I suck at keeping contact with anyone else. I think it's cause I can't physically see them often, so have to rely on facebook/msn/etc, and I suck at keeping contact with people over the Internet. Ugh. On the other hand, I'd hate to be one of those people with 4000 'friends', who they're not actually close to at all.

CO3 06-03-2010 08:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Biddykins
Anyone else find themselves in this situation? As you grow up, keeping hold of your friends just becomes ridiculously difficult. When I was younger I had a small group of maybe 5-8 friends who I was really close with, as I got to college it became a different group, then uni, another group, but outside of this small group of friends I suck at keeping contact with anyone else. I think it's cause I can't physically see them often, so have to rely on facebook/msn/etc, and I suck at keeping contact with people over the Internet. Ugh. On the other hand, I'd hate to be one of those people with 4000 'friends', who they're not actually close to at all.


People grow apart, I suppose. I've lost a few friends due because of different reasons. I had one friend who was a few years older than me who hit puberty and we grew very far apart. Good thing, I suppose. He really influenced me and now he's in jail from drug trafficking. (Meth)

Then I'll kind of hang out with my other past friends or drop them a line sometime, but it's not a real tight knit thing. Usually just people from high school that I don't ever run into anymore.

Apart from that, I consider myself extremely lucky. I hang out with two people and one of them has been my best friend since I was 9, so almost 13 years. The other is my mom's boyfriend's son who moved here four years ago. Losing friends can suck but in my opinion losing the ability to find or make time to spend with each other means you probably weren't great friends anyhow. I'm not knocking your relationships but I just think there's some kind of mutual agreement that you're all not important enough to each other to see, be it because of distance or because there's not enough time to take away from education or careers.

Kate 06-03-2010 09:00 AM

Ehh losing friends sucks sometimes, but sometimes it's a godsend.

I went through friends at a ridiculous rate at one point, aside from a few girls who are still my best friends. But I've had the same group now for a couple of years that other people kind of rotate though while the rest of us remain constant. We all get busy from time to time and lose touch but we end up back on track before too long. I think it's just that relationships are different as you get older - you don't have all day everyday to spend time with your friends and your world doesn't revolve around them as much as it used to when we were younger. You have your own responsibilities and stuff that can lead you away from time to time.

I think what counts in relationships now is if you need them, they're there. No questions asked. But you make time for each other in non-crisis mode as well.

tassietmaniac 06-17-2010 07:06 AM

They say that every 7 years you will probably change your group of friends as that's the time it usually takes for your interests to change to the extent that hanging out becomes an effort. I know what you mean, I only have one friend from primary school left.

Kate is right, it changes as you get older, although quite often you'll find you can still talk qutie well with old friends

Gearbox 06-27-2010 04:09 AM

It's a bit hard for me when I'm stationed a good 500 miles from where my friends live. I made some good friends at my job but eventually we all get orders to get stationed somewhere else and at that point, it's hard to keep in touch as well.

Facebook helps and it's not just for FarmVille

Againstthegrain 06-28-2010 10:59 PM

This past year I've grown out of a lot of the things my old friends and I used to do, so I've been hanging out a lot less with them. Losing friends isn't fun but it happens, and it may not be your fault. Just find new friends that are as mature as you!


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